Love how it used to be.

I love how you used to tell me what you know
I love how we used to laugh at little things that we thought its silly
I love how I used to be the priority
I love how we used to be so comfortable to stick around
I love how everything looked like we're meant to be
I love how you used to look at me
I love all the -ed


and there are so many more things that I thought I could let go
but how to let go something and someone that you always thought is so perfect and you still think it is?


People pushed me
to look for someone
for the sake of "a better life of me"
they pushed so hard that made me wanna push back, so badly.

nobody knows
nobody will


I mean how anyone could truly understand what I am feeling
in the past
or now?

I have been constantly telling myself its over
but the only one who knows the truth is myself
just myself.


I always wonder when will I move on
who will be the next one
who will drag me out of this

is it gonna be you again
but it will not be



things change
people change

yes I've changed too

to someone that I dont even know anymore

someone that is so afraid to face herself
because she knows her true feeling will hurt her, again.
she knows the thought of going back is just her thought
she knows nothing will be the same
she knows there's no more chance
she knows she should move on
she knows there will be better options, if she's lucky enough
but she knows
she will not have that luck again


she knows
things will never be the same
the future
will not be the same
the same as she imagined
almost ten years ago


push
push those people away
when they try to push you
when you know its not going to work for you

why do you have to hurt yourself again
why do you have to do what they want you to do
why cant you follow your feelings anymore
why are you so scared
why are you hiding yourself from anybody else
why cant you accept the fact



Why do you have to take so long?
he did it so easily.