Friday, May 5, 2017

Something is wrong with me

life and people thought me so
life and people took it away

that part of me that has disappeared
for years

and I only realize it now




the part of me that will do anything for anyone
caring
for others


the true caring I mean
not hoping for anything for return


I still had it
even after you were gone


but people keep coming
keep teaching me the same lesson


keep telling me that
people leave at the end


dont care


and tearing the last piece of soul in me apart


thats how you grow up

they say



i dont know where am i
i dont see myself anywhere anymore

Sunday, April 16, 2017

束手无策

都说胎教很重要
妈妈怀我的时候真的哭太多了
吃得苦也是最多的时候
以前她说的我都不信
我一点都不爱哭
最乖最多人疼的是我

可是好像那些日子都离我好远了
不记得最后一天是什么时候了

不记得什么时候不哭了

眼泪都多得不珍贵了



《傻子》 现在
再贴切不过了

等爱的人很多 不预设你会在乎我
难道一生的时间都用来换和你一个误会
谁能真的让谁 幸福到故事的结尾
何必那么的慌张
有时清醒 才是错误的开始
我不需要 也不重要
做一个傻子多么好
我不明白 也不需要明白
就让我这样到老
谁能真的让谁 幸福到故事的结尾
何必那么的慌张
有时清醒 才是错误的开始
我不需要 也不重要

做一个傻子多么好
我不明白 也不需要明白
就让我这样就很好

没什么紧要
只需要你轻轻一个拥抱
就算不留下什么也无所谓
就算留下了什么也都珍贵 珍贵 珍贵
做傻子多么好
我不明白 也不需要明白
就让我这样到老
这样到老



你怎么可以让我那么束手无策
我有什么做不到的啊


除了你

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

不要跟老天爷开玩笑

吃了没有
膝盖还痛吗
心态要对就可以了
你哪里有输那个都变态的
最后一名都给你追到其他人可以回家了
跳来跳去跌倒你就知道
哎哟哭什么比赛罢了
又喝冷水


可以再这样骂我吗老师
可以去见你最后一次吗

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Biggest Different

posting something on social media does not help
it is just to see who ever care

but maybe a few will ask when you do it at first
and then
nobody even care

you know what's the biggest different to be single?
the difference is that you have nobody to talk to constantly
if you know what I mean 'someone to talk to' here

girl,
you have your darling
you have your baby
you will never get someone that has been single for too long
like me

she just want someone that has an totally open heart for her
to keep her everything

anytime
she needs him
anywhere
she is
anything
she wants to tell him



when she comes to you
when she tells everything
when she speaks up her problem
when she needs you


please
even if you are annoyed
just listen


do not totally ignore



cause she gave you everything
cause she trusted you


that's the cruelest thing you can ever do

Monday, January 30, 2017

讲心事 的事

心事哪里会是到处说的
以前我都只告诉一个人
一个可以听完不嫌烦的
我可以很安心地每天说

虽然有想过他会离开
带着我灵魂的一部分

直到他离开
我才彷徨
原来最好的几个朋友
知道的也不多


后来就是这跟身边的人说
说着说着
自己偶尔也会嫌自己烦
怕自己烦
所以
说的人也多了
但是
怕越多人
也会跟你一样
抽走我的灵魂就走


一走就回不了头
想回头也会不了头

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

ciao 2016, ciao 2017.

想了很多
得到的是
别去想了

在意的
别在意
想要的
别想要

拥有的越少
得到的更多


极简的境界



2017

达到



到时
拥有的最少
也会是最多


在   米兰  的新年

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

是 妳的问题

才发现
自己变了很多
迈入20岁之后
发生那么多事情
才过了3年而已
但是却是我23年以来经历最多的3年

失去的 很多
得到的 也很多

每件事情都有好坏
每个人都有好坏

人虽负我
我亦负人

以前那个很在意朋友的
熟的 不熟的 生日都记得
没有卡片没有礼物
最低限度也会有个信息
或是一句生日快乐

还是失去了太多
不想要付出了
感觉都会白费
所以不做了
不要说要我记得你的生日
就连一句生日快乐
我根本就是很懒的说
以前都好期待生日
那些祝福我甚至都抄下来
收到的礼物
吃的收到坏
都不舍得吃

什么时候开始
我已经不期待了
怕有人来打扰
但是竟然真的
会有人没来找我的生日
我以为是我想要的
毕竟身边单身的人不多
谁得空情人节跟你庆祝生日啊
然后我还是厚着脸皮
text了几个group
找人跟我lunch
然后就算有人跟我庆生了


我竟然做过这种事



从以前吃不完的蛋糕
听不完的生日快乐

到现在




到底我是怎么了





只是觉得留在身边的人越来越少

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

追著你們好累

人與人之間可以很簡單
但是一方想要把它變得復雜
你怎麼做都還是無濟於事

也許你自認是個很好的朋友
但別人不領情
可能你是錯的
你自認而已

你試過了
你再試過了

就如你自己所說
不click就是不click
她們倆不約你
從不約你
就不約你啊

你還有你自己
執著什麼


但是你們沒有要約我
拜托瞞著我
你們越覺得這樣沒有問題
媽的
我心越痛


所以我決定了
你們勉強邀我的旅行
對不起無法參與
我怎麼參與

Friday, November 18, 2016

10 / 86400

You have $86400
Someone took away $10
will you chase him back for that $10?
NO

Someone spent 10 seconds
and say something bad about you
Why do you let him ruin 86400 seconds of your day?




Read this somewhere
and then it happened to me
AGAIN

Sometimes I really hope that I do not care about people that don't really matter
but honestly, I'm just human, and I think you and you are mature enough to know what you did is not right
and I was just pretending that I do not know all the damn time

you have your hard times and so do I
do you really NEED someone to tell you not to show your attitude to someone else that did nothing wrong to you?

If there's nothing between us
why all of you have to act that way just in front of me?
people say I am sensitive or I should try to be the one who speak out first and ask what's wrong

Yes I tried and both said they have nothing against me
but acting that way again and again

I've tried so hard
and I never tried so hard in remaining friendships


I guess I know the answer and that will be my way of protecting myself




Its okay
I have enough friends leaving without telling me any reasons
because things change and people change
feeling is something we cannot control




Thanks for teaching, again and again,

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Love how it used to be.

I love how you used to tell me what you know
I love how we used to laugh at little things that we thought its silly
I love how I used to be the priority
I love how we used to be so comfortable to stick around
I love how everything looked like we're meant to be
I love how you used to look at me
I love all the -ed


and there are so many more things that I thought I could let go
but how to let go something and someone that you always thought is so perfect and you still think it is?


People pushed me
to look for someone
for the sake of "a better life of me"
they pushed so hard that made me wanna push back, so badly.

nobody knows
nobody will


I mean how anyone could truly understand what I am feeling
in the past
or now?

I have been constantly telling myself its over
but the only one who knows the truth is myself
just myself.


I always wonder when will I move on
who will be the next one
who will drag me out of this

is it gonna be you again
but it will not be



things change
people change

yes I've changed too

to someone that I dont even know anymore

someone that is so afraid to face herself
because she knows her true feeling will hurt her, again.
she knows the thought of going back is just her thought
she knows nothing will be the same
she knows there's no more chance
she knows she should move on
she knows there will be better options, if she's lucky enough
but she knows
she will not have that luck again


she knows
things will never be the same
the future
will not be the same
the same as she imagined
almost ten years ago


push
push those people away
when they try to push you
when you know its not going to work for you

why do you have to hurt yourself again
why do you have to do what they want you to do
why cant you follow your feelings anymore
why are you so scared
why are you hiding yourself from anybody else
why cant you accept the fact



Why do you have to take so long?
he did it so easily.