Another Routine

So I thought I've had enough of Germany,
enough of toxic relationships in Germany.
Although I still have quite a number of friends that really care, which is actually very lucky of me.

I knew one day I will miss my life there, having nothing to care about but just myself.

But it is just the 6th day home, and the feeling already hit me. Why did I thought something will be different after leaving for 2 years?

Its not a new spot of pain, its just my old scar that start aching again.

Now I know why I don't move on even if I moved to a new place, I thought that would work.
But I just miss how you will be there everytime.
I just miss how I can take your time and patient for granted like you owe me everything.
I spent all my quotas and now I will have to deal it by myself.

You left me with nothing.
But I did try, you know?
I am not waiting for you to return.
I know I dont deserve it anymore.
I tried to look for someone else.

I guess I just didn't try hard enough.
But I know I just simply don't deserve anybody elses.


What would happen if you're still you, and we are still us.

若遲早要離開

不要把自己搞得無可取代

The worst feeling that can be is

to feel
nobody on earth needs you.

Constantly.

The feeling of wanting someone badly


It just never come back

Something is wrong with me

life and people thought me so
life and people took it away

that part of me that has disappeared
for years

and I only realize it now




the part of me that will do anything for anyone
caring
for others


the true caring I mean
not hoping for anything for return


I still had it
even after you were gone


but people keep coming
keep teaching me the same lesson


keep telling me that
people leave at the end


dont care


and tearing the last piece of soul in me apart


thats how you grow up

they say



i dont know where am i
i dont see myself anywhere anymore

束手无策

都说胎教很重要
妈妈怀我的时候真的哭太多了
吃得苦也是最多的时候
以前她说的我都不信
我一点都不爱哭
最乖最多人疼的是我

可是好像那些日子都离我好远了
不记得最后一天是什么时候了

不记得什么时候不哭了

眼泪都多得不珍贵了



《傻子》 现在
再贴切不过了

等爱的人很多　不预设你会在乎我
难道一生的时间都用来换和你一个误会
谁能真的让谁　幸福到故事的结尾
何必那么的慌张
有时清醒　才是错误的开始
我不需要　也不重要
做一个傻子多么好
我不明白　也不需要明白
就让我这样到老
谁能真的让谁　幸福到故事的结尾
何必那么的慌张
有时清醒　才是错误的开始
我不需要　也不重要

做一个傻子多么好
我不明白　也不需要明白
就让我这样就很好

没什么紧要
只需要你轻轻一个拥抱
就算不留下什么也无所谓就算留下了什么也都珍贵　珍贵　珍贵
做傻子多么好
我不明白　也不需要明白
就让我这样到老
这样到老



你怎么可以让我那么束手无策
我有什么做不到的啊


除了你

不要跟老天爷开玩笑

吃了没有

膝盖还痛吗

心态要对就可以了

你哪里有输那个都变态的

最后一名都给你追到其他人可以回家了

跳来跳去跌倒你就知道

哎哟哭什么比赛罢了

又喝冷水

可以再这样骂我吗老师

可以去见你最后一次吗

The Biggest Different

posting something on social media does not help
it is just to see who ever care

but maybe a few will ask when you do it at first
and then
nobody even care

you know what's the biggest different to be single?
the difference is that you have nobody to talk to constantly
if you know what I mean 'someone to talk to' here

girl,
you have your darling
you have your baby
you will never get someone that has been single for too long
like me

she just want someone that has an totally open heart for her
to keep her everything

anytime
she needs him
anywhere
she is
anything
she wants to tell him



when she comes to you
when she tells everything
when she speaks up her problem
when she needs you


please
even if you are annoyed
just listen


do not totally ignore



cause she gave you everything
cause she trusted you


that's the cruelest thing you can ever do

讲心事 的事

心事哪里会是到处说的
以前我都只告诉一个人
一个可以听完不嫌烦的
我可以很安心地每天说

虽然有想过他会离开
带着我灵魂的一部分

直到他离开
我才彷徨
原来最好的几个朋友
知道的也不多


后来就是这跟身边的人说
说着说着
自己偶尔也会嫌自己烦
怕自己烦
所以
说的人也多了
但是
怕越多人
也会跟你一样
抽走我的灵魂就走


一走就回不了头
想回头也会不了头

ciao 2016, ciao 2017.

想了很多
得到的是
别去想了

在意的
别在意
想要的
别想要

拥有的越少
得到的更多


极简的境界



2017
要
达到



到时
拥有的最少
也会是最多


在   米兰  的新年